Twilight?

Twilight

There’s a lot to attend to but my efforts will fail to even parse most of it. Currently, I’m serving as as replacement for a co teacher at a school in the Bronx. co-teacher because except of one period, generally it’s supposed to be two teachers. Let me state that these boys and girls need the extra help too. Generally, they are classified as D-level special Ed. The sad thing with the kids being below level is that none of them are ell’s, and only a few (out of the 25or so) have IEP’s. It’s also sad that so many skip or miss days of school. My mother was never a lenient as these kids parents seem to be about attendance.

One thing of joy/stress is my Art History class, which is my art history class. Not sure what their other teacher had taught them but I’ve restarted teaching them the principles and basic elements on art so that I can mold their responses to art work to sound intellectual. I’ve been integrating my iPad into the class room so much in this regard. For example, drew this picture to allow them to describe the details in regards to shape, form, line, and space. I had provided the scaffolding and prior knowledge. I’m curious/dreading to read their responses.

I’m curious for yours too, gentle reader. How do you like my digital art?

Three Pathways to Graduation

Starting 2013, students in NYS will have three pathways to graduate besides the traditional diploma. Currently students have to pass the English regents, earth science or living environment for science, math a and global a and b (as the history requirement.). Students will now additionally be able to choose from a cte diploma (which is for career and technical engineering) and a modified regents with less global history. The reasoning behind this is that “a one size fits all education doesn’t work.”
Seriously? Really? Tell me something new. How do these new diploma options address the needs of sped students or even students who just need reasonable accommodations? How do these new diplomas address the fact that these tests are not reflective of the experiences of students in urban environments?
I don’t see this being anything other than a blip in news. Or maybe a distractor from other recent education stories which haven’t put state testing in a nice light.
I worry that the sped kids and 504 kids will be steered into the CTE courses. Not that that’s a bad idea for some kids, but generally these things end up being wholesale discounting of scores of children who just needed extra help.

here’s a short story i wrote for class

estephanieinthecity

I love it

Been doing prep for work tomorrow. Rather research about the school. Even found a nice website with staff pictures links to tumblr pages, blogspots with homework, group discussion pages and I’m like jackpot except the teacher that I’m in for doesn’t have anything online. Hell the official school page don’t even have a photo. They have photos of all the paras, subs, special Ed Teachers….everyone but the bitch I’m in for.

Which means she probably quite and these kids haven’t had anyone all year.

I’m looking forward. According to the website I’ll be one of 4 minority teachers at a high school in the Bronx. In fact I’ll be extra as the teacher I’m
In for isnt even listed on the official unofficial website for the school.

Looks like a great school though. Scored an A. They even have a foreign exchange program with china. Everything is fine. Except the teacher
I’m in for apparently never existed.

I blame whatever wrong that happens tomorrow on subcentral.

Marble Hill Challenge

I logged into subcental and accepted a job about 1.5 hours Away in the Bronx. It appears to be a decent school and the job is for special Ed. According to the website they don’t have self contained classes and so my job should be to assist the generalist.

My inclusion special Ed grad course reading for the night says yep, you’re fucked. Me too. But maybe these kids will be my new ninjas for the year.
Ima try to get an hour of sleep in. I’m excited and nervous-

Every day is a new day. Optimism. Watch this space for whatever tom f uckery I encounter.

Cuz tomfuckery is one of my closest friends .

C. A. K.

Graduate school

The syllabus for this one class says that in 13 weeks we will have read

<;
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Online Readings

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http://www.concordspedpac.org/BMP.htm

This bitch isn’t playing

Distractions (WIP)

Distractions

(Thoughts I use to distract myself include/
but are not limited to)

How come most don’t question why
the highs range from the lower
40’s to the upper 50’s even though
the month is January,
and we haven’t seen the hint of snow.

Quiz myself on what that celebrity that can’t act/
or/ sing was wearing
with at the Oscar, Grammy’s and how
Jimmy Kimmel agreed with me on their/
“performance.”

I create a few jokes about happy hour/ being the/
happiest hour/ because like a decent date/
There’s more bang for the buck/ There’s witty banter
that could lead to more/and you don’t mind that
the hour isn’t exactly an hour/ and you realize
there goes that bang for the buck thing/ but
at least you were able to smile.

(Trying not to think about that
my brother is…(gone) my job is… (gone)/
or that meaningful interactions with cohorts/
discussing potential strategies
to shape the future are missed..(and missing)

So i think about freedom, and the police.
I set my Ipod to shuffle/and
shuffle outside.  I spend maybe/ a black/or
two trying to determine/ whether my baseball cap
should be backwards.  

And after I reach/ a subway station and at
a predestined location/that I’ve not determined/
(but most likely a bar)- There I decide (as much
as I can decide) that maybe I didn’t want to wear
a baseball cap.

On the way home/ I check my phone and notice
not a miss call/ and then I notice everything that/
I’ve tried pushing aside/ And in a phone booth
smelling of piss/ I mourn the things I treated
with irreverence.

I mourn my brother/ Even thought I know where
to find him- He is gone.
I remember my job/Every day I spent frustrated
because of the level of engagement/ It was
my spouse/ This separation is one side.
And I think about the future/ and cohorts,
and changing the world/ but I can’t stop
laughing at the irony that I want the world to
/just be what is was.

Any given day/ I want yesterday/ or the day
before.
I yearn to be a virgin to my current pain/
Even though I recognize pain I feel now
is I’ve dealt with before.

At 3:11 am/ I lift my head out of my hands/
I wipe my eyes and then I laugh at myself
a little (because I’d rather not cry.)
The realization I’ve tried not seeing/ by
distractions and drinks-

It’s always 3:11 am in my life/ I’m always
preparing for the bartender’s last call.
I’m always at the last before the last-
This is how I’ve learned to make it.
Perculiar how nothing is ever over,
even when it’s over.  

Memory is/ a ghost as patient as it is rude/
It is a totality that has driven me….(insane?
sane? to tears?  to laughter? to my knees?)
Fear of it is/ is utterly ridiculous,
and thus I enter at 3:20 am-
to see how many new memories I can
find to distract myself.

Working Notes – I didn’t mean to set out and write poetry or write anything today.  But things on my mind and such.  I’ve tried to pay attention to stanza length, actually the overall length of it.  But I couldn;t figure out where to stop.

 

The ending needs work. I know what I want the image to look like, and Ive been trying to end things on a positive note when writing things lately but, I don’t know if with something as precarious as I’ve tried writing around that I can.  Sometimes things are just too heavy to gloss over.  

 

But overall, I hope that the idea that when it’s over, it’s not ever really over comes through.

 

-Chester Kent

Few Days Down

“If nobody sees you cry….you can say it was raining outside…..alll they want is a few days down…..it’s to be expected with all the weight you carry around….it’s a short  to a foreign nation…

I’m looking out….`10 stories….and I can thank you…a eity waking up to foreign night…

 

And all they want is a few days down…all that you need to is a few days t drown….all that you want is a few days down…”

 

Mandy Moore, Few Days Down

To conclude the story of my last day at Lean on Me High, I went in and finished grades, because the kids deserved not to be involved in the war.  (Ironically, I’ve said this all along.)  The kids who passed legimately, needed to to get theur grades they earned.  And all those other ones….the ones who interrupted class .  The ones I thought about saving, and then realized they need to be shot, or out of my life.  The Josue Reyes, and Katie Sanchez’s that if I had a dog, I’d name it, Josue Reyes or Katie Sanchez, and kick the little bitch in the face everyday.  The ones that I called home, and their parents genuinely disciplined but came to school and made it worse.  The defiant ones who refused my kindness, or the one who I forgave because he wasn’t getting the services he need.  Him, especially, because I understand that he is supposed to be in a 6-1-1 (Six students to One teacher to one special educator or aid) which clearly in an ICT setting of over 32 kids, he wasn’t getting.  But then again,  his IEP called for a smaller controlled environment, but that doesn’t forgive him for calling me, “Mr. Buttfucker” every chance.  Your IEP is something that the state, city, and your parents agreed to.  But they do not consent to you being an asshole.  Fuck you, F.

 

But anyway, Ms. Cleo was obstinent to the end.  I made small chit chat regarding the weather re:it’s mildness, and she closed the window.  As I was on the way to dinner with Mr. Proficient, Ms. Cleo called him to make sure I hadn’t taken confidential materials about students away from the building.  Not that I couldn’t still access it on Jupitergrades or Aris.

 

And yet, I would go back even if I had to get shot every single day.  Those are mine.  They are my kids.  I only took one day off from October 7th to January 20 something.  Even when I was robbed.  Or my apartment was broken into.  Or I felt sick.  Those are mine.  I couldn’t take off because they had already missed so much in the month that they had noone to teach them, and they were warehoused in different rooms.   They may not know this but every single one of them who remotely acted like a student – who came to class on time, or raised their hand for questions.  Or the J. Hernadezes or K. Mills who acted tough but then opened their hearts to me.  Or the J. Miniers who write so beautiful and brutally honest, despite the content; and did it consistently because they knew that I would fight for them.  Those are the type of kids every teacher deserves.  Those are the types of kids that I know will change the world.  The J. Mena’s or J. Luna’s who deserve the A in Awesome, and the P. Acosta’s I wish I had more time with.  Those are the kids I look forward to  meeting.

Those are the kids who remind me why I can’t get off the subway anywhere near school because it would just break my heart.  Those are the ones who I hope that they get a teacher who “I was thinking about [her/him] thinking about us…what we going to be, and realize it’s just a dream.” (Nelly)

 

All in and all, those are my kids that I would be insubordinate about.  Those are the kids that I hope (and I think they saw) that I did my best for.  Even the assholes.  I hope they know I did the best in my situtation despite the bullying I took from the administration.  I hope they know that I would take it even more if I could.  But that wasn’t an option.  Ms. Cleo didn’t even look at the quality of work.  She didn’t look into their portfolios, folders, or eyes.  She didn’t see what we accomplished.  She only saw blind rage because I don’t know.  Had I know what her ideas were, I would have worked them, but all of this is conjecture.

I know I did my damnedest and learned a new disciple  (Forensic Science) without much collaboration from other educational professionals.  I know I did my best and gave it all I had.  And I know I’m going to still.  I am not a bad teacher.  I am not insubordinate, ineffective or whatever other jargon someone who has not observed me or measured my results have seen.

At the end of the day- those were my students, and I was their teacher- and you know what, maybe I taught them that you can’t always win, but still I hope they learned do what is right.  Even if it’s not the best thing for yourself.  In the end, we all get what we deserve.  I can’t say what Ms. Cleo deserves, but I hope she understands that she has a few kids who knowingly see her.  And see me, and know what a teacher is.

 

-Chester Kent.

A Standing Ovation for her Encore

A Standing Ovation for her Encore

So, after everything that Ms. Cleo put me through last week, I still followed along.  That is, the stupid wench demanded grades by 3 pm Tuesday afternoon, which at no point was feasible considering several things.  The first being, that the way she wanted grades averaged was…extra.  Second, I was told I’d have the entire day to finish working on grades.  I stayed up the night before, and with an assistant (a friend from out of town) we  scored all the multiple choice.  I searched for logical loop holes in my wording and correlated that to the kid who answered the question, just to see if a. any question received a high number of wrong answers, and b. if that kid might have been absent that day.  Both of which were extra on my part.  But that ties into three, when I checked the system, I was scheduled to report to Lean on Me High until Thursday.  Logical considering all grades were due for other teachers on Wednesday, the proofs and corrections on Friday.  Otherwise, they would be blocking me from working at another school.  Which would be uncool right?  At 11:30 Tuesday, I was informed that today would be my last absolute last day.  No response at to why they were placeholding my spot in the system.  Finally, the last roadblock that she threw was proctoring.  Instead of straight grading, and scrambling for the impossible, instead, I kept being called upon to relieve other people.  30 minutes to an hour just suddenly evaporated.  More details, but I’m actually getting angry thinking about this.

The Curtain Closes on Lean on Me

The Curtain Closes on Lean on Me

 

So the seats are emptying, ticket stubs on the ground.  This act of teaching is done.  It was a good run for what it was.  That being, it reminded me that I love teaching even when I have hated it. I also learned, that I can get up like a normal person, and work.  And most importantly it gave me something, when I was feeling like I had nothing at all.

And the kids are the best, and the worst, and they were my students. And the administration of the building hasn’t interviewed or hired anyome yet for the open positions.  They are scheduling students into classes without teachers.

But enough about them.  In the next post, I eviscerate Ms. Cleo.  Fuck a bitch. Fuck a bitch.